Underneath the glow of a vacant street lamp, trash rots beneath her nose. Through the simple act of turning a page, the autumnal air is fumigated of all sour scents. She sits reading line by line the tale of a man and a woman not far from here, though years and realities apart from her own.

Eyes down.

Focus here.

Glance up there.

The ensembles of men and women walk amidst her glance– not far from here.

Why do their eyes never fall upon my own?

A young man and woman, near tight embrace. Four-wheeled fanatics. Huddles surrounding smoke and empty bottles. To each their own, and her… On my own.

She returns to the page. It is different now. The focus has faded. The fumes linger beneath her nose. She sits reading line by line, the tale of a man and a wom—

“Excuse me, miss.”

Oh, how I wish you’d go away.

Her cheeks simmer vermillion. His cheeks wear a coat of scruff and sweat. His eyes, glazed, fall upon her own.

“Excuse me miss, but you are really pretty.”

Oh, how I wish you’d go away. The inebriation wears no mask. 

“Um, thank you.”

“No, you’re like, really pretty.”

Hands to the lips. A look of utter disbelief. His right foot stumbles over the left, forgetting it occupied the same earth.

“And you’re, real?”

Does he know, even the ‘pretty ones’ read?

“Yes, I am real…”

“I mean, you’re sitting there, in front of my eyes. You’re real?”

Now, what might this man be on?

“Yes, yes I am.”

She shuffles in her seat as he stumbles backward and forwards. The face of shock still staring at her own.

“Woah, and you exist?”

“And I exist.”

“Wow.”

“Wow, woah (and whatnot)…Well, miss, have a good night.”

“And you, too.”

He staggers down the path. A glass bottle in his right coat pocket shimmers beneath the vacant street lamp, momentarily catching the eye of the young ‘miss.’

Must be the pregame.

Those words linger here. On her tongue.

And I exist.

Eyes down.

Focus here.

It is different now. Will it ever be the same? The lines are still the same. The tale of a man and a woman not far from here. She feels not far from here. But eyes down. Focus here.

She reads line by line. She sits beneath the vacant street lamp. And she exists.

“Why do you stare at me like that? As if I’m going to get up and leave you all alone. You know I should never do that. That thought would never even dare to cross my mind!”

She was surprised to hear it. After all, they just been dating for a few weeks. And as usual she was making one of her deprecating jokes. This was the first relationship that she’s had that wasn’t a total dumpster fire from the get-go. I mean, it took her weeks to begin talking to him, and not to mention that her friends had to push her in one big group to go talk to him. She was positive, but deep down she felt a sense of uncertainty, like something would go wrong at any moment. However, she was met with the most positive experience she could’ve had. Not only did they talk, but they exchanged numbers and they walked home together. A week after that he had asked her out, and they went on a small nondescript date, which ended up blowing her expectations out of the water. First, she had expected the date to go all right and things to go smoothly, but her partner being the surprising person he was, made the date like The ones from the movies. You know, the ones where they look into each others eyes as a soft breeze gently flows through their hair. The one where they have a sense of knowing that this is the person they’re going to spend the rest of their life with. After that, they went on maybe one or two more dates before he had asked her to be his girlfriend. Again, he was acting like a character from a 2000s romcom, asked her out on a picnic, bought her flowers and then dropped the question. She looked at him with this belief, and that’s when he blew up. I was baffling to him that she couldn’t see how beautiful she was. How deserving she was, and how what he did with the absolute bare minimum to do for someone you’re interested in.

“You are enough. You’re never going to have to go through another heartbreak again.”

He meant it. He grabbed her hand hugged her, and they enjoyed the rest of their day underneath the sunset.