We are the broken and longing.

The beaten and deserted.

We are the stray you left behind. 

Wanting more, needing more. Damaged. Hurt.

We are the two Spanish to be black into white to be Spanish.

We are the “please and thank you”. 

We are the apologizing for something that isn’t your fault.

We are the “take your elbows off the table at dinner time”.

We are the “say ten Hail Mary’s and our father’s” every night.

I am the christian from a catholic family or the catholic from a christian family.

We are the kitchen is always hot, but the heart is too cold.

The whatever in forever in the loyal and disloyalty. I am the beaten and tired. I am the working hard, never hardly working. I am the “Never Depend On Nobody.” I am the “figure it out.” I am the everlasting. 

As a child, I was taught boundaries and principles. Always stand up for yourself, but never speak unless spoken to; mind your business and keep your mouth shut when it comes to other’s problems. If I was lost, I was taught to figure it out and not depend on anyone. I am the unwanted, but loved. I am a christian, that is what I was told. But, I am the one who does not believe in all of the bible. I am the one with torment from not having a communion, with pain from not knowing of Ash wednesday. I am the stray that was estranged from society. I was the not allowed outside with the children from my neighborhood or the going to school far from home. I am not normal.

8:45 AM.

I ran out the door running late for school.

Hopped on my tinted green trusty bike and wheeled away.

As I was riding, I started to wonder about-

And then I fell down.

My palms scrapped, but not bloody.

I dusted the pebbles off my palms first and then onto my knees.

I slowly get up and realize-

My bike blew flat.

I checked my wheels and a thumbtack, right in the tire.

A thumbtack.

The only thing standing between me and school is a stupid thumbtack.

So I left my bike deserted, lonely, on the ground.

I had like 5 blocks left.

Block 5- I ran full speed. I ran into the night that was actually day. I passed so many trees, and although I was running, I could see the tree colors and how I remembered the green leaves and how we are in autumn. Now we have yellow, orange and brown, and it is the most amazing thing. The tan tint giving a crunch sound when they hit the rusty floor, stomping on the leaves as I run to school. It’s so cold and the wind started picking up like crazy.

Block 4- I was more tired and I could not even run anymore. I had to reach into my backpack and get my inhaler because I felt as though I would collapse. With the weather now and me running, I couldn’t do it any longer. I’m not a runner, but I am late.

Block 3- I walked, I could not even begin to think of how much trouble I would be in when I step into the halls of hell that is school.

Block 2- I see MaryAnn, the old lady from the right side of the tracks, watering her plants. I stop by near her white picket fence and shout out, “Hello MaryAnn”.

She greets me with a warm smile. I try not to stay for a while because MaryAnn is a sweetheart but a chatterbox. With my luck, I’ll never get to school on time. “I would love to stay and chat but I gotta run, I’m late for school.” I side skip away while looking back, my shoes click as I try to escape her approaching me.

Before she knew it I was gone.

Block 1- I can see the school, but it’s a blur, I’m so tired. I give all my power into full speed but as I approach more, I do a jog. Am I hallucinating right now? Am I dreaming? Why are there chains on the school gate? How am I going to get in?

I run around the corner to the other side of the school to see a crossing guard and I ask how to get inside the school. 

She replies, “Son, it’s Saturday.”

My heart dropped, I can feel my pulse racing. No way did I travel all the way here for a Saturday.

I begin to walk home in sorrow.

My legs droop to the floor in agony and I feel uneasy.

I walk all the way to block 5 and see my bike. My trusty bike. Dragging it all the way back home I just had one thought in my head.

Why is it Saturday and why did my bike have a stupid thumbtack still!

If I rode my bike I would have saved a lot of my energy and I would have found out sooner than now that school was closed.

Maybe if I had checked the calendar?

Maybe if I had checked my phone?

Maybe if I had realized sooner that not many people are outside because Saturday is a sleeping-in day?

Stupid damn not-so-trusty bike.

10:57 AM

I am small.

But my mind grew in power.

I am stubborn.

But my actions speak louder than words.

I am girl.

I am the knight in shining armour.

I am the speak up for yourself.

I’m every woman.

Why does being a woman mean you can’t defend yourself?

Why does being a woman mean you need saving?

Princesses don’t need to get saved in the end by a man in armour.

I am power.

Foster Care is a system in which children are placed into wards, group homes, or private homes of a state-certified caregiver. Children until the age of eighteen years old have no say in where they live until they become a legal adult. Many are abused, mistreated, and not loved in these homes. This system has done a great injustice. Once you are in the system there is no way to escape, and for many of these children it feels like a prison. People who work for the system place these children anywhere, without finding background on the families. That’s why many are abused and mistreated because nobody knows the families they place the children with. It is as if they just place them just to get rid of them. The foster care system is severely flawed as it is not sufficient to protect the health, needs, and welfare of the child.

As children grow older, many do not want to take them, especially starting at the

age of ten because most want a baby to adopt, not an older child. Dontay Davis was a prime example of this. Due to the fact that Dantay was 10, they did not adopt him. Many siblings without a permanent home don’t get adopted within the same family at the same time. This makes families drift apart and end up with a bad future. For Dontay, he clung to the dream of seeing his family again. At 19, he ended up in prison. While in prison, his siblings died, but he was not informed until after he was released.  

When the Harts adopted them they declined to adopt Dontay, the oldest at 10 years old. Days after that separation, which would become permanent, he tried to kill himself. He remained in the Texas foster care system for eight more years. Four of those years were in a restrictive “residential treatment center.” For all those years and until his siblings’ death he held onto the hope of being reunited with them. Then at 19, he was in prison. It was while he was in prison that his siblings died, but he did not learn of their deaths until after he was released.

 Dontay tried to kill himself after the separation. They did not support him whatsoever. Families being separated does not benefit anybody because people are being hurt in the process mentally and emotionally. Someone like Dantay, tried to take his own life because of this, and still nobody did anything to help him be reunited. All he had was hope that they would get reunited. 

(Gullapalli, Vaidya)

The foster system is severely flawed with children who do not have a say in their own lives, with children who get separated from their own family, and with children who get hurt, abused, and/or punished. Children have no say in who hurts them, whether it’s physical or emotional.

Works Cited

Gullapalli, Vaidya, et al. “The Damage Done By Foster Care Systems.” The Appeal, 18 Dec. 2019, https://theappeal.org/the-damage-done-by-foster-care-systems/