What a world we live in, that anything could happen with a simple tap on our little screens. I’m definitely not mad about it. It’s how I learned some of my biggest lessons. It all started off with a direct message. I texted her. You know sometimes I wonder how life would’ve been if I didn’t. I was perfectly fine up until that point. Up until I got my emotions running wild. It must’ve been a very boring day. The funny part about that is that I remember that day as if it was yesterday. I didn’t think too much about it. I can use a extra friend I probably thought. She texted me back. And from that point on, I had developed a deep emotional connection with her for the next six months. Simply through iMessage games and corny games of 21 questions. We eventually met up right before summer had started. Date after date, laugh after laugh, I didn’t think I was capable of being with someone at all. Something about my insecurites always told me that I was incapable of being loved, or liked at that. After all, this was my first relationship and never knew what this type of affection was like. I really thought our relationship was perfect. I thought that this was a forever thing. I started going out of my way to do things that she liked. Sacraficed a lot just to accompany her. I’m pretty sure every man knows how that feels like. I was changing. I would write her in the morning, think about her through my entire day and cap it off in the night time with long conversations about how much I cared for her. I’m not going to lie and act like she didn’t do the same, because she did. At first, I think. She was my favorite person, my bestfriend, my girlfriend all in one. And I loved that. I loved her. I still probably do. I’m just a tad bit salty. But it was until I mentioned that four letter word that things started to go wrong. Yeah, she did say it back but to be honest, towards the end I just never felt it. It hurt me everytime she said it because I felt as if she was lying. Her emotions started to fade and she pushed me away. Used the excuse that she wanted to work on herself to do that. It’s really selfish of me to say that because what if she actually is, but I am hurt. I put too much of my happiness into her and feel like all the time, effort and mental compacity I devoted to our relationship went to waste. I never got a chance to say that. And now, the person that knows me better than I know myself, is a stranger to me.

It was a gloomy afternoon. Clouds filled the sky and you can almost feel the precipitation in the air. The floor was wet from the previous hours of non-stop rain. That didn’t stop me from doing what I was passionate about. You couldn’t tell me that I wasn’t going to play basketball after school because I would simply laugh and run to the courts. At least that’s what I did when my mom told me I couldn’t. I would run off and greet my friends with a jump shot. Clank. I wasn’t always the best but I most definitely wasn’t the worse.

“Yo, Hasib, Chris and Tim! Let’s play a two versus two.” I shouted across the court.

Chris yelled back, “Bet, me and Tim versus you guys. Your ball first.” Him and Tim were best friends as they lived just a street away from each other.

They game started and we simply had a great time like any other fifth graders getting ready to graduate. Jump shots, crazy layups, flashy passes. We were doing it all.

”I can’t wait to get to 6th grade man, so we could all join the team!” Tim said.

”Same dude, we’re going to be all stars.” Hasib said.

Still playing, I decided it was time to get my fair share of buckets.

“Give me the ball.”

Jump shot from beyond the arc. Good

Another one. Good

“Hold up, move out my way. I’m going to try something” I asked.

As I got the basketball, I stared at the rim for a good 10 seconds. I run towards the rim and jump and attempt a 360 degree layup. My body contorts and I release the ball. Good. However, as I land, I end up on my back. Unable to move.

”HEYYYYYYY, YOU DID IT!” Hasib yelled, trying to pick me up.

I couldn’t move, nor speak.

“What’s wrong, Raiyan?” Chris asked.

I couldn’t answer. I looked up at the sky and thought, “God, my time has come already?” Like a fool.

I looked over to the other side of the park insinuating where to go get my mom. She was talking to the other parents. Tim runs over to her and grabs and her to lure her to me.

“Oh my goodness. My son. Get up, get up, get up.” My mother cried.

It was as if I was half- paralyzed. That was until she picked me up and held me in her arms. That was all I needed to attempt to move. A parents loving. That’s how much my mother means to me. I will attempt anything if it was about her. I slowly get up as I hold her with my left arm wrapped around her arm and my right around Chris. I motion wit my hands to get something to drink and out my mothers purse she pulls out a water. Gulp.

“Ahhh. That was a close one. “

”You’re not coming back,” she said.

“Ma, you are out of your mind.”

He, who, grew up, reminisces

What times he had as an infant

Through the rain with joy, passion

Now he views the rain as sorrow

Drops of drizzle, down the window

As each one passes, a tear falls

What’s the purpose of emotion?

To feel how you feel at your best,

To feel how you feel present day,

Like a lovely sunset, at rest.

For quite some time now, I have been hearing and seeing a ton about the #MeTooMovement. This is essentially a movement formed over social media in which victims of sexual assault are able to come out with their personal stories and express the trauma that they have dealt and are dealing with. Being from New York City where sexual assault rates have skyrocketed in the past year, it would be a total understatement to say that I fear for women, especially for the women that are close to my heart. It sends me chills as I scroll through my social media pages and see the number of women coming forward with their stories and as I finish reading the post, there it goes. #MeTooMovement. It’s crazy to think that in just a matter of a few clicks, I get access to millions of stories across the world. I fully support everyone who has the courage and is brave enough to express the damage that has been done and is willing to become stronger because of it. I also feel for those who suffer silently and pray for their healing. As a man, it is easy for me to say I have never been scared or worried for my own safety, walking alone at night or when getting in an Uber. But this is only a small portion of problems that women have to deal with on a daily basis. This is not to dismiss the fact that sexual assault can also happen to men, and my heart goes out to everyone that has been afflicted with such trauma. As I did more research, I discovered that the rate of sexual assault has gone up about 322% in only one year. That startled me. With that being said, I am definitely more aware of my privilege as a man and about the circumstances that women are put through and as a result, I have been making sure the stories of women are heard and validated, and I speak out against any injustices that are done against them and their safety.