I remember calling for them. it was 12:00 am and was really cold. I haven’t seen them all day, and my anxiety grows as seconds pass by. As soon as I was about to give up and go back home, I hear a faint scraggly “meow”. I turned around. and there he was.  One brown cat running out the bushes coming to greet me. Seconds later, another cat come out, an orange one, following the brown one. I smile and say “Hey bravery and Chaz”. I realized how weird it was talking to two cats, but I didn’t care. They went from running away from me just by the mere sight, to frantically chasing me by the sound of my voice. It was odd, but they were so important to me, even though they were two strays. They had their own little quirks and personality, especially when they know you have food. They were days where I felt so alone, and only they could truly cheer me up. Today was a really long day at work, and I felt like I didn’t really do a good job. Its weird, but that made me feel a bit insecure. Then when i see them, I feel like someone who is truly appreciated and loved.  I met so many wonderful people due to how loved they are in the neighborhood. They may just be two strays, but they have such a huge impact on my life. As well as sparking my interest to be a wildlife vet.

Michael stared at the sunset. A huge grin plastered on his face. He sits alongside Drew. “Isn’t this the best? “Michael says, turning to Drew. Drew doesn’t respond, he continues to stare at the sunset. His eyes slowly filled up with tears. Michael understands, this will be their last moment together. He knew this day would come, they couldn’t avoid it. Drew has been his closest friend. They both weren’t good at making friends with other kids. This might explain why Michael was so drawn towards Drew. Ever since then, they have constantly hung out together. All of that was about to come to an end soon.
Drew still hadn’t uttered a single word. His eyes were wide and his body was shaking. Michael reached out and grabbed Drew’s shoulder. Drew jolted away, tears now streaming down his face. “It’s going to be okay”, Michael says as he hugged Drew. Drew trembled in Michael arms, dread consuming his mind. All Michael could do was comfort his friend, and thank him for letting him enjoy this last moment with him. Of course Drew did not respond, he couldn’t. The duct tape made his words unintelligible, the rope bound his hands together. Michael didn’t want Drew spoiling this moment he has been waiting for his whole life. He grabbed the knife behind him and made one more look towards Drew, his closest friend. Knowing this was the last time he would ever see him again.

At first it was just thoughts 

Something I paid no mind too

Second, it was stress and anxiety

Third, I wasn’t eating or drinking

Fourth, I couldn’t sleep anymore

Fifth, I stopped checking my emails

Sixth, I stopped talking to my friends

Seventh, I was on the balcony all the time

Eighth, I had accepted my new fate

Ninth, I was pulled out.

Mental Illness is widely stigmatized within society. Even when we leave in an era where we have more understanding and aid for mental health, that hasn’t stopped people with mental illness from being misunderstood.  As someone with an mental illness, this issue has felt very personal to me. I always hear commercials about bringing awareness to mental health, but it always felt empty to me. Although, before I was diagnosed  I had a very little understanding of mental illness, and what I knew about it, I got from movies and television. This changed when I heard about the book “Turtles all the way down” by John Green.  I think the way this book depicts a character with mental illness was really moving to me. Especially as I can go back and relate to the character suffering from mental illness. For instance, I liked how the book showed there wasn’t a simple fix and its a lot of work to try to get better. I t wasn’t even afraid to show the really ugly parts of mental illness that a lot of shows shy away from. I especially love how the main character, Aza Holmes, was given obsessive compulsive disorder. As I feel a lot of media prefer to portray characters with depression and anxiety, which makes me feel as other illnesses are being ignored and further stigmatized. I also loves how much of a toll her health problems can take on her friends and family. They weren’t depicted as bad people for not being able to properly handle someone with mental illness. Which is how I empathize with my friends and family when my illnesses took a toll on all of my relationships. This book helped me realize that no one is too blame in this scenario and that it does get easier. It also made me try to look out for other forms of media that properly portray mental illness instead of glorifying and stigmatizing it. I was so impacted that some of my future research papers involved mental health. Showing how little help and attention mental health is given. I think it even helped me with my goal to become a psychiatrist.